我怎么了...

大家都在追问我...

问我怎么了...

唉~怎么了...我到底怎么了？

为什么大家都说我最近看来很忧、很郁...

昨天，和 Atie 在网上聊天...谈到敏感话题...我匆匆的道别就下了网...

怎知...她的电话马上响起...

“Dear, what's that really made you sad? Tell me, I always by your side for you...”

“Really nothing dear...”

“You must be hiding something and I am so assured that you find no one to talk to, and find no one to listen to you right? Trust me, you can always count on me!”

“Thanks dear, I know you really care for me...” 我掩饰着我几近颤抖的声音...

“If you really need some private talk, just tell me. We can out for drink just you and me, or you can come to my house. Just give me a call if you feel like to do so...”

你说...我这个马来朋友爱我吗？

感谢了...只是...我竟然发现原来自己已不知何时开始不敢在别人面前谈论可以让自己再次掉泪的事情...也许...是因为...不想，也或许...是因为...不放心...

但我想...最大的原因是我不想别人对我的际遇投以同情或怜悯...真的不喜欢那种感觉...

Mimi 问我：“Denise, did Uda call you? She was looking for you yesterday. ”

“Yes, she called me. She was trying to find out how I am...”

“Ya lo, what's wrong with you recently? Everyone wondered what happen to you...you looked so quiet...you used to call me or sms me quite frequently, but now...”

“ Nothing la...just feel a bit tired...”

说真的，这些日子以来...身体、精神一直都觉得很累、很疲惫...

这样的疲惫到底该如何形容自己真的也说不上来...只觉得...开始懒得说话...

不知道是自己的身体透支过度了...还是...心...疲劳过度了...

这两天又开始猛吞止痛药了...